Sorry for the delay in posting stuff. I've just been busy, and then i didn't know what to write. I hope you have fun reading this. And on a side note, I used this idea for a class project and my professor loved it. So thank you to all my readers and all those amazing friends that encourage me to write. I love you all :)
It was one of those days where i didnt have anything to do. No projects, no festival work, no house work. As much as i craved for days like this one in the midst of a busy day, i just came to realise that i didn't like days like this very much. The whole time i kept thinking that maybe i had something to do, something to finish, another deadline to meet. I'd check and recheck my diary until i as absolutely sure that i didnt have any work pending. I also kind of feared these days because when i didnt have anything to do, my mind wandered back to LA, my summer, the beach, the fun and Justin. And out of all those beautiful memories, the last thing i wanted to think about was Justin. The last time i saw him was at the airport when i left to come back to India. We tried making long distance work, but with all my college work and everything that came along with it, making time for him when he wasn't particularly sleeping became very difficult. We had a couple of fights before we decided that the only mature thing to do was to end it here, on good terms. I often felt silly thinking about him, maybe he doesn't even remember me, even if he does, it must be like a faint distant memory for him. but that wasn't the case for me. for me, every moment that i spent in LA with him and all our friends was just like it was yesterday. All i needed to do was to shut my eyes and there it would be, all bright colours, laughter and young love in full HD. I know, kind of sounds sappy. I wondered if it would be okay for me to call him, just ask him how he is and how life is treating him. but then again, would that look like i've been missing him? or would it look desperate, like maybe i was the one who was trying to talk and pilling on.. Shake it off Vrutika…. this is Justin you're talking about, the last thing that you should be worried about is him judging you. I knew that he was ok, i'd see his occasional post on twitter and breath a sigh of relief, knowing that his job hasn't killed him yet. Though there would be some that would make me wonder if he was referring to me, for e.g., just a week back he posted "to me, summer is your hair flying in the wind and the sound of your laughter." Im not sure if that was for me, or for one of his hookups, it actually could be for his mom or sister… or maybe it could just be a song. So, I dailed a number and waited for someone to answer, "Hey you" my best friend Dimple said. "I need some advice" I really hoped she wouldn't bug me about this. "Ofcourse you do. Shoot" she said. Dimple had always played the role of a counsellor and my best friend. "I…umm… have been thinking a lot about… him." I felt like i could've framed the sentence better where it didnt look like i was in love with him, but couldn't find the words to. And Dimple and Deesha both knew that when i said "him" i was always referring to Justin, infact in the past year, the only "him" i have been concerned about or spoke about was Justin. "Oh god, I should've just taken you shopping with me. Okay, so you miss him. When was the last time you'll spoke?" She asked. It was 7 months and 26 days ago. I knew that, but i wasnt going to say that to Dimple, cause then again, i didnt want it to look like i was in love with him. "The one time that we spoke after the break up, i guess about 7-8 months ago." I tried to say that casually. "Wow, thats quite a while. Call him then." she sounded more casual then i did. "Omg, are you serious. would it look too desperate?" I was actually biting my nails now. I knew i wanted to call him, but i thought Dimple would convince me to not do that, i would listen to her and then i wouldn't have to talk to him, but now there was a real possibility that i actually might talk to him! "Sweety you waited 7 months to talk to him, i think you've passed the post check of desperation." She said. "Umm alright… I'll call him." I fumbled. "Okay, lemme know how it goes!" she disconnected. I stared at my phone a couple minutes and then I took a deep breathe and closed my eyes and just like that it all came back to me. The beach, his eyes, his lips, the jogging, the ride in his car, he whispering "you look beautiful" in my ear, random looks that he gave me, us holding hands, him smiling, us kissing on the lighthouse where he first asked me; all of the memories just started passing by so quickly that now i was feeling dizzy, i opened my eyes with a start with a heavy breath and the silence piercing my ears. I gathered my courage and dialled his number and waited for him to answer. "Vrutika? Is that you..?" His voice sent shivers down my spine. For a minute i kind of lost the ability to talk… i didnt know what to say, and even if i did, the words wouldn't come out of my mouth.. i started feeling so flustered that i just disconnected the call. What the hell is wrong with me. Not only did i totally embarrass myself, but now i also seem desperate. My phone flew out of my hand when he called again and it vibrated. "Vrutika..? are you ok?" he said. "Uhm.. Hi Justin.. Yea I'm okay…" I managed to say… "The line mustve been bad earlier.. i couldn't hear you." He said. "Yea.. it was the line.. Its terrible" I said, relieved that he didnt find out about my goof up. "So… 7 months later, you finally call. Whats up?" he said, i could hear him smirk. "I… umm…" I miss you Justin. I miss you so much. How are you, what are you doing? Are you ok? Do you miss me? Do you even think about me? Why didnt you ever even try to get in touch these seven months? Have you found someone else? Are you happy? The questions ran through my head but i still couldn't get my mouth to say them. "Vrutika? are you there?" He asked. "Yea.. I'm here. I just called cause… i saw your post on Facebook and i was wondering what time it is over there." WHAT?! NO! "Okaaaay… its 7.30" i could tell that he was already weirded out. "Oh it is? okay, good to know. It was nice talking, bye!" and i disconnected and put an end to my embarrassment. But the phone rang again. "Okay, something is obviously up and you need to stop freaking out and tell me what it is. You know I'm not going to judge you. So take a deep breath and tell me." he demanded, just like the old days. So i obeyed him, took a deep breathe and started to talk "Hi Justin. You know why i called today? Cause i miss you, and every time you don't upload a status on Facebook or comment or like on something, or tweet something, i panic. I'm worried sick about you every time you're not seen on whatsapp for more than 2 hours. How are you? i just know once and for all that you are going to be fine. You need to promise that to me, cause I'm tired of being so worried about you when you haven't even tried to make any sort of contact with me in the past 7 months and 26 days. I know our relationship didnt go on for that long, but i remember
every detail about it. Maybe you are with someone else now and maybe your not, but the thing is that every since i came back from LA, i haven't been able to think about another guy. Im tired of not moving on. I'm not saying that i want to get back together, all I'm saying is that I really miss you, and just once in a while, i wish that maybe you did too." I was almost in tears. "Vrutika… okay, I'm going to answer one question at a time, alright? Hi. I miss you too. I have been checking your Facebook and twitter updates too to see everything is ok with you. Everytime you upload a sad status i feel like coming down and punching whatever the hell is making you sad, every time you post something happy i feel jealous that I'm not the one thats making you feel happy. I've started praying too, and i pray to god to keep you safe and happy everyday. I'm fine, but i can't promise you that i'll be fine cause missing you so much hurts me a lot more than i thought. Our relationship was awesome, one of the best I've ever had. But I haven't been in contact cause i don't want to be that ex boyfriend who you can't get away from. the day we broke up, I had decided that i was going to give you your space and time to get over me and message me the day you were ready to. But there isn't a day when i haven't thought about you and it takes so much of me to not dail your number and just hear your voice once. And now you mustve already guessed that i haven't been with anyone, cause if i had then i wouldn't be feeling all the things that i have been feeling. And for me too, there hasn't been another girl on my mind and i think that your going to be the only girl that is for me. Or was. Even then, I'm sorry, and I miss you a lot." He said… i could picture what he was looking like. He must be sitting down on his bed with his hand in his hair and eyes closed. "Justin…" was all i could say, but this time, in all honestly i had nothing to say. "If i said that i knew you had a vacation coming up, and i'd love for you to come and visit me or visit any part of the world and meet me, would you agree? he asked. "Yes." I gasped, I had to admit, i was dying to meet him, just see his face, look into eyes, hug him… but most of all kiss him and tell him that i loved him. "Alright so will you talk to Dimple and Deesha and tell me in a couple days?" Now, i could hear him smile. "yea." i said. "Okay, so I'm disconnecting now, and i will call you tomorrow. Alright?" He said slowly. "you will?" I asked hoping that from now, we would actually talk more often. "Well yea, i gave you your time, I've been waiting for you to call for a while now." he said cheerfully and that made me smile. He was such a kid sometimes. "Alright, bye." i said, still smiling. "Bye cutie." and he disconnected. I was so happy that i literally jumped around the room , dug my face in a pillow and screamt!
Once my excitement cooled down a little, I called Dimple like i said i would. "Hey, how did it go?" she asked. "You have no idea."
